Home Country I stand as an American
Windy Wilson was on the prowl, this beautiful Independence Day morning, searching the neighborhood for something to do for others. He decided to let his weekly day helping others come on the Fourth this week, because he was feeling very American.
Let’s see … he thought … I can circumlocute over to Mrs. Hennessey’s and see if her flower garden needs weeding. She’s got very close veins and the sugar diabeets, and getting around ain’t easy.
He headed in that direction when he came across two friends of his arguing over politics. They were standing there in the shade of an elm tree and trying seriously to tear down each other’s theory on how the world, the United States, the state government and the local school board should be operated. Windy stopped and listened to them. Each would look at Windy as each point was made only to see the usually garrulous Alphonse Wilson smile benignly and nod in response.
Pretty soon, the two combatants figured out that Windy was nodding to statements on totally opposite sides of the argument. They stopped and looked at him.
“How do you stand on this, Windy?” one asked.
“I stand as an American citizen,” he said, “on this recompensation of our Independence Day, knowing that our foundling fathers would want it this way. Yes, since this is a special day for all Americans, I am recumbent in the factotum that it is your very basic right to be wrong.”
“Which one? Which one of us is wrong, Windy?”
He grinned. “Well … you both are.”
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Home Country is a weekly syndicated column written by outdoors journalist and humorist Slim Randles.
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