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Domestic violence: It happens to men too?

(EDITOR’S NOTE: October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month. The Clinton County Women’s Center interns from Lock Haven University have written articles, which will be published each Sunday in the Lifestyle section during the month of October, to raise awareness about domestic violence.)

There are many signs than can indicate someone is in need of a helping hand; however, most men do not display the common signs of domestic violence due to societal norms.

Domestic violence can happen to anyone, anywhere and at any time. Social status, gender or sexual orientation does not matter. The abusers who are domestically violent only want one thing — to be in control. If you feel things are not quite right, try and take a look at your situation from different perspectives. Does the relationship feel natural and caring or sometimes frightening with nowhere to run?

Most recent statistics claim that most domestic violence incidents occur when men are in their 20s and 30s. This is the time when men usually are in college or trying to make a living; although, things do not always go as planned. Relationships can spring up at any time and there is no telling what kind of relationship it will be.

Relationship roles can vary and mostly are learned from people that are in their daily lives. These learned roles can affect future relationships. Nearly 10 million children witness some form or domestic violence annually. Those children may grow up and encompass the roles that they have witnessed, which translates to more men and women thinking that it is OK or normal to be violent in their relationships. Parents need to be aware of the impact that they are having on their children if domestic violence is occurring in their home.

Common facts about domestic violence are: “the person only did it once and it will never happen again” or “the person just could not control themselves, it was not their fault.” Self-control is NOT a problem for abusers! They control their actions all the time. The carefully choose when, where, how and who to abuse. Once you learn your partner is capable and willing to physically, verbally or emotionally be violent with you, it’s time to recognize what is happening and get help. If they can do it once, they will most likely do it again.

There are services available to men, just as there are for women. If you feel that you cannot talk to anyone about your relationship or feel that you are walking on eggshells in your own home, you may be in need of help. The Clinton County Women’s Center helps abused men and women in the community. They provide the information needed in order to help people move forward with their lives. Domestic violence does not discriminate, whether you are poor, wealthy, what your sexual orientation is or anything of the like. It can happen to anyone. It is not just women being abused, it is men too.

Visit Clinton County Women’s Center or call 570-748-9509.

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