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Best-selling book inspires others to dare greatly

What does it mean to dare greatly and why should we care? Researcher and storyteller Brene Brown, in her New York Times best-selling book, “Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead,” shares how an excerpt from Theodore Roosevelt’s “Citizenship in a Republic” speech inspired her research in vulnerability and shame.

Often called “The Man in the Arena” speech, Roosevelt said: “It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly …”

Brown, a research professor at the University of Houston Graduate College of Social Work, used 12 years of research through more than 1,200 interviews to discover that vulnerability and shame prevent us from living an authentic life. By being vulnerable, we can live a “Wholehearted life” where we are present, willing to fail and powered by courage to put ourselves out there in everything we do.

Every day we experience the uncertainty, risks and emotional exposure that define what it means to be vulnerable – or to dare greatly. As she writes, “Daring greatly is not about winning or losing. It’s about courage. In a world where scarcity and shame dominate and feeling afraid has become second nature, vulnerability is subversive.”

This is not a how-to book but it does dive into the problems that shame and lack of vulnerability create so readers can learn from them. A great place to start is her 2010 TEDxHouston talk, “The Power of Vulnerability,” which is one of the top 10 most viewed TED talks on TED.com.

Brown is open about her own experiences in work, her relationships, teaching and parenting. I appreciate that she included a detailed appendix where she described her Grounded Theory research methodology, which does not start with a hypothesis or literature review. The topic comes from lengthy interviews with participants until a theory emerges; in this case it was shame, which led to interviews with people who were “shame resilient” to discover that the underlying issue was vulnerability.

Brown encourages people to practice gratitude and think carefully about our interactions with others and what that means about us. In talking about relationships, she discusses the words we can never take back and how this affects relationships, especially among couples and by parents. Her Wholehearted Parenting Manifesto can be downloaded on her website, http://brenebrown.com/downloads-badges/ , where readers also will find the Daring Greatly Leadership Manifesto, Daring Greatly Engaged Feedback Checklist, a printable about authenticity and the Roosevelt quote that inspired it all.

Discussion guides are available too, for each of her books, as well as badges to share online and on social media that declare: I am daring greatly, I choose authenticity, and I live and love with my wholeheart.

What I appreciated were mantras she shared from Andrea Scher, a photographer, writer and life coach and how they apply to us:

• Quick and dirty wins the race.

• Perfection is the enemy of done.

• Good enough is really effin’ good.

Essentially, don’t let your vulnerability and fear of failure prevent you from even starting. Each chapter builds upon previous chapters and makes a strong case for taking steps to be more open and vulnerable. It’s a great message for those looking to better understand themselves and their relationships in the new year.

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