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Healthy relationships: Part I

(EDITORS NOTE: The following story is written by a Lock Haven University intern for the Clinton County Women’s Center in honor of February as Healthy Relationship and Teen Dating Violence Awareness Month. The story is the second of three, to spread awareness about what individuals can do if they are in an unhealthy relationship.)

Everybody deserves to be in a healthy relationship free from violence. Healthy communication can help you form a healthy relationship or make an existing relationship healthier.

All relationships fall into a continuum from healthy to unhealthy. Unhealthy relationships come about in a variety of ways. Just because a relationship doesn’t involve physical abuse, does not mean that it is healthy.

0If you are in a healthy relationship you should feel respected by your partner. You should be able to communicate your thoughts and feelings openly with them without fear. You should feel that your partner respects you and the boundaries you set. Both partners in a healthy relationship should have equal say. Your partner should allow you to spend time with other people without getting overly jealous or making you feel guilty about spending time with friends and family. If you are experiencing problems in any of these areas, there are ways to improve your relationship.

One way to improve your relationship is with healthy, open and honest communication. If you feel that better communication could help your relationship, the first thing you could do is find a good time to talk about it. Many of us have busy schedules, so you may have to talk to your partner and schedule a time to sit down and talk with them face-to-face. This should be a time when both you and your partner are not distracted, stressed or angry. Be sure to talk in person if possible, to avoid any unnecessary miscommunication.

You and your partner should agree to be open and honest in this conversation, that way noting gets held in to protect feelings. With that in mind, be sensitive and try not to come across as harsh. Don’t use words that come across as targeting such as “you”, instead try to say “I feel that you …” Use body language that shows your partner you’re listening to them. Sit up, make eye contact and engage fully and undistracted in the conversation (don’t text or take phone calls). Finally, use the 48 hour rule. If your partner does something that makes you feel upset, you should tell them, but you don’t have to tell them right away. If you are still upset 48 hours after it happens, say something. If you aren’t, you can consider forgetting about it. Remember, communication is important in healthy relationships. Youre partner cannot apologize or change if you don’t communicate problems with them.

If you are experiencing an unhealthy or abusive relationship and would like help Clinton County Women’s Center, 34 W. Main St., Lock Haven, is a non-profit private organization with a 24 hour hot-line, counseling, legal and medical advocacy. Services always are free and confidential. All services are provided regardless of race, income, sex, sexual orientation, handicap, ethnicity or religion. The center can be reached by phone at 570-748-9509.

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