Mary Kay Bailey

It was just a light breeze, but she thought it was Russ tickling her neck while she slept in her Lazyboy recliner.

“Stop it,” she snapped, as she turned to see an unfamiliar face looking down on her.

“You aren’t Russ! Hey, do I know you?”

“I hope so,” the stranger replied. “I hope everyone knows me.”

“What can I do for you?” Kay replied.

“It’s time to go Kay.”

“Go? Go where? Home? Well Ralph is picking me up on Wednesday, is it Wednesday already? You know, you look familiar!!!”

“That’s right Kay, it is Wednesday. Are you starting to get the picture?” asked God.

“Well. I guess so, 77 isn’t bad. Ya know Ed passed when he was 77.” God chuckled as he reminded Kay she was 96.

“Yea,” Kay snapped. “Russ tells everyone I’m 96. Why Cheryl even sent me a birthday card with 91 on it one time. I always say that if ya live right, you will live to be 100. I guess I have a long way to go.” “No Kay, you are 96,” God replied.

“Well, whatever, you know, I was wondering when you’d come to get me. Russ tells me I’m going home on Wednesday every time he and Pat come to visit. He thinks I don’t know what he’s been doing all these years, but ya know, it gives me something to look forward to. It gets a little lonely when all of your friends have gone. But I have to say some goodbyes! Wait ’til I get Maggie, that dog drives me crazy.”

“No need to do that Kay, they’ll understand. And Maggie, Maggie has been waiting for you for some time now. She’s looking forward to you to play hide-and-seek with the peppermints.”

“But what about Kelly? She’s going to have a baby ya know. Russ tells me all these funny names she’s picked out but I think he’s just kidding with me.”

“Kay, she had a little girl and named her Emma Kathryn. Not too long ago she had a little red headed boy just like you wished for, and named him James Scott. You always wanted her to have a little red-headed boy, right?”

“Think he’ll have a temper like Russ?” Kay grinned. “Ya know, I could have never raised another one like him!”

“Yea, I know Kay. Now Kelly is saying the same thing,” God chuckled.

“Well, I was going to bake an apple pie for Keri. she loves apple pie and I’ve been meaning to bake one for some time now but I haven’t seen her for a long time. I guess she’s forgotten about me since I’m old. Think I’ll be able to see her?”

“I think I may be able to pull some strings there Kay, but Keri knows you will always be with her,” God replied. “Every time she smells a hot apple pie, she’ll think of you.”

“Krissy – I can’t forget about Krissy. I think she’s graduating from college soon.”

“Kay, she graduated some time ago. She has a couple degrees and doing just fine.”

“Oh, my mind! She’s a brain ya know. I always liked kidding with Krissy. She will do good. Say, maybe if she becomes a doctor, she’ll be able to help me out.”

“I don’t think that’s the direction she’s headed Kay,” God smiled.

“Any chance I can maybe give Pat a call?”

With a chuckled and a shake of his head, God replies “Nope.”

Kay sat back, thought for a minute and said, “Pat was always like the daughter I never had. I don’t think I ever told her that. I know I should have, but I have a feeling she would have done just about anything for me. She is a wonderful person and I’ll miss her. Russ is really lucky to have her.”

“Say, did I ever tell you about Russ? I always said when I was pregnant that I didn’t care what I had as long as it had red hair and look what you gave me. I guess Kelly will know what I had to put up with,” Kay said with a grin. “I could have never raised another one like him! Did I ever tell ya that?”

With that, God smiled. “You never asked for much, Kay.”

“Russ was always in a fight when he was a kid. That’s probably when I last talked to you. I think he took after his dad, what do you think?”

“I hope Russ and Pat realize how much I appreciated them taking care of me, but I don’t think they could have done it without Ralph and Virginia. Virginia and I worked at the Mark Restaurant for around twenty years or so ya know.”

“Didn’t you help Virginia cut the pies at the restaurant?” God asked.

“I cut the pies, she helped me!” Kay replied with a spark in her voice. “But ya know, you couldn’t ask for a nicer person. Will I see Emma when I get to heaven? I’ll tell her how much I liked having Virginia next door. And Ralph, he’s always telling me what to do. I wonder if he’d wear his teeth all the time if they didn’t fit? ‘Put your teeth in before you go with me,’ he’d say. ‘Change your clothes, Dodo.’ ‘Comb your hair, Dodo.’ Don’t tell him, but I’ll miss that. Oh, his heart is in the right place and just like Virginia, I couldn’t have lived here with out his help.”

“Kay, Ralph passed away a while ago to. Russ decided not to tell you because he knew how upset you’d be. Ralph told me he was looking forward to seeing you again.”

“Help me get out of the chair, will ya God? I’ll change into something a bit more presentable. I guess this purple sweat shirt and my navy pants have been on long enough. Hey, you got any gum?”

“Don’t worry about that Kay,” God replied, “We’ll fix you up with a nice white outfit later. Oh and ya might want to grab that gum ya put under Russ’s table, remember?” God chuckled.

“White was always Ed’s favorite color,” smiled Kay. “Suppose I’ll run into him.”

“I think he’s been waiting for you,” God replied.

“Is he better now? I hope he is feeling better,” asked Kay.

“He’s in good shape, Kay. He takes Dolly and Aggie out for a run just about every day, gets a coat of simonize on one fender of the olds each day. Usually he finishes off the day with a beer and ham sandwich with Ralph and Tod under the apple tree.”

“Hasn’t changed much, has he? Where did you say we were going?”

“To heaven, Kay, to heaven. Oh, Kay, don’t forget your teeth.”

At Kay’s request, there will be no services. Interment will be held at the convenience of the family.

Arrangements have been entrusted to Sanders Mortuary, 821 Diamond St., Williamsport, PA 17701. Online condolences may be expressed at