A letter

Dear Ben Bernanke,

I am writing this letter begging you to continue your never-ending printing of American currency (more is better, right?), thus decreasing the value of the dollar. I know you have a huge responsibility in setting inflation and unemployment targets, this occurs without any oversight from the Federal Government. Boy, you must be one powerful man not having to worry about what the politicians or the American people think. Is it really true your institution is considered a private bank? That’s what your predecessor, Alan Greenspan said. He said that his bank operates outside the realm of Federal Oversight.

It’s a good thing you printed $16 trillion to loan to foreign banks during the Great Recession (have to help out our buddies from time to time, right?). I know you’re a busy man, but you forgot the average American who lost their house and job during that same period! I know you have the utmost concern for the Average Joe, so we will wait until some of that $16 trillion comes to Main Street. Should I wait with bated breath? Mr. Bernanke, I’m sure glad the American People entrusted you and your board of twelve governors to decide how much our fake money is going to be worth. Did we vote for you Mr. Bernanke? Oh, wait, you operate outside the auspices of federal reach, I forgot. Keep those printing presses hot, I like the idea of $85 billion being printed off every month.

It’s a good thing that the American Public is too busy clamoring for the next American Idol and who the next Voice is going to be. You have enough on your plate without the American People getting in an uproar over your destruction of their currency. Sheesh, I notice there is some parallel between you and King George who was the basis of the American Revolution (do you mind if I call you King Ben?).

Not that I’m inciting rebellion towards you, King Ben, but I think if the shoe fits. I guess I better get back to my conversations about the next pro football game and continue in my effort to keep up with the Kardashians. Thanks for your precious time, King Ben; I look forward to your continuation of the destruction of America.

Christopher Erdman


Submitted by Virtual Newsroom