Do not condemn

Death is not easy to face. Just thinking about losing someone, of never being able to see hear or touch them again tugs at our hearts and minds. Oh, we may plan for those left behind, setting out our wants and needs in a will, dividing up our precious property, dotting the ‘i’s’ and crossing the ‘t’s.’ However, we can’t plan for the heartache, for the emptiness, the anger, the disillusionment of being left behind.

Friends and family may hold you, sympathizing with us, but they cannot know exactly how personal pain. It affects each of us differently, for each of us is different.

Humans, in trying to explain the death process, came up with a set of ‘rules’ as to what we are to think of someone’s passing. These ‘rules,’ also known as religious doctrines, are supposed to guide us to an acceptance of death, and to help us believe, that if we live a certain way, we will move onto the heavens where we will be accepted by our god. These ‘rules’ have told us that suicide is not acceptable and that the person who dies in this way, will go to the devil and lie in darkness for eternity. Family and or loved ones of this person are also looked upon as ‘tainted’ and are ridiculed, shunned, and made to feel worthless and alone.

But I tell you, there is no such thing as death. It is merely a transformation. Yes, our physical bodies cease to exist, but the true essence of us, our lifeblood, our SOUL lives on in eternity. It does not ‘go’ to a certain ‘place’ per say, it exists alongside of us.

Once we are ‘there,’ it does not matter to the other souls, or to ourselves, how we got there – what our manner of ‘transformation’ was – it only matters that we are there, in perfect union with the source of all that is, was, and will be.

Yet, those of us left on earth condemn the person who took their own life. We are superior, we say, we know everything, our books, our rules tell us that if you take your own life, you will go to hell and live in the clutches of the devil for eternity.

It is but the fear that talks, fear that forces to judge others, for we cannot begin to understand why anyone would do that to themselves, do that to someone they love. We cannot know with absolute truth why a person takes their own life, but it is not for us to judge those that do or those that are left behind.

You believe that killing onself is cowardice, but believe me when I say, it takes courage such as most of you have never known or will never know. The pain that resides within, the confusion, agony, frustration, anger, hatred of self and of others and of the collective voice of society that condemns you for even think of it is unbearable.

Brave is the person who dares to end their life.

They are welcomed on the other side as everyone else is, with love, with healing, and acceptance. For in the arms of true love, there is no commendation. Put aside your fears and your anger. Love those who have died by their own hand – love is their family and friends – for you do not know what trials your life may hold. You do not know if you will stand on the edge of the world and see and feel nothing but darkness and feel the cold hand of loneliness clutching your heart.

The possibility of taking ones own life resides within each of us, you just haven’t reached the edge.

Forgive. Love. Accept.

But do not condemn.

T.A. Engel