Way back in 2012, I heard so many people say something like, “if Obama is re-elected I’m leaving the country.” Yet, it’s one year later and Rush Limbaugh is here, Duck Dynasty is popular, and Walmart is crowded.

I thought Obama was the worst thing this world has ever witnessed? I guess none of those people left.

So, I propose we raise the stakes for 2016. If your candidate loses, you actually have to leave.

If the Democratic candidate (O.K., Hillary) loses, Bill Clinton and Barack Obama will be forced to flee to a country where they can inhale freely without being hypocrites.

And, if the Republican loses. Liberals will transform America into a modern nation.

If my side loses. I have no problem fleeing to Canada. After all, it’s a nation that has rid themselves of Ted Cruz and Justin Bieber. Therefore, it’s like America without the morons. So, if you want a dream nation for the Tea Party, send me a postcard from Iran when Hillary wipes the floor with Ted Cruz.

And, if the latest Tea Party boyfriend wins, I will be playing craps in Niagara Falls before President Cruz declares “Mission Accomplished” for his unpaid war. That Tea Party is really dragging down a country, eh? I love the Canadians. They’re always asking questions. As opposed to Americans, who are always watching Duck Dynasty.

Michael Sullivan


Submitted by Virtual Newsroom