Cookin' with Wood

Fried Rice a la Wood

I had some new neighbors move in, and they didn't have their stove hooked up yet, so I took the liberty of making a lasagna for them and their friends who helped them move. It's a stressful thing, moving, so I figured I'd give them one less thing to worry about. By the time the lasagna was finished baking I was really hungry, and I didn't have enough ingredients to make another for myself. Luckily, I had all the stuff I needed to make this recipe.

I started out by cooking the rice in the saucepan, since it takes 20 minutes. I just followed the directions on the back of the package to make four servings. As always, the secret to making perfect rice is to follow the directions, and DON'T PEEK! It'll be done in 20 minutes, trust me.

While the rice is cooking, put the bacon and the sausage in the skillet over medium to medium-high heat and start slicing up the veggies. I used different methods of slicing for the different vegatables. For the onions, I sliced them into rings, then cut the rings in half. They'll fall apart into strips as you cook them. For the mushrooms, I let the stems on, and sliced them into thin silouettes. For the bell peppers, I cut them in half from top to bottom, removed the seeds, and then sliced them into strips. All the while tending to the bacon and sausage in the skillet.

When the bacon is well done and the sausages are browned, remove from the skillet and set aside on a plate with a paper towel, leaving the liquid in the skillet. Add the prepared veggies and sprinkle with the MSG. Stir and fry over medium heat for a few minutes, just until they're tender.

By now your rice should be done. Remove from heat. You'll need it in a minute, but first you want to slice the sausages into quarter-inch segments, and use your just-washed hands to crumble up the bacon. Now wash your hands again.

Add the bacon and sausage to the skillet, then dump in the rice, mix well. I told you you were going to need a large, deep frying pan. Did you think I was kidding? If you don't have anyone to share this with, it'll last a couple of days before you finish all of it. Don't worry, it microwaves well. Mine's already gone, but my mouth's watering just thinking about how good it tasted. I need to start writing these stories while I still have some left.

Oh, yea, my neighbors liked the lasagna. It's the same recipe you may have seen here in February. They returned my 9"x13" baking pan sparkling clean. I'll assume they have hot water now.

Bob is the author of "Don't Fry Bacon with Your Shirt Off!  A Single Man's Guide to the Kitchen"  a PublishAmerica book.