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About adoptions

January 27, 2013

I want to thank the Sun-Gazette for publishing our story. I want to answer some of the comments that were posted online the day it appeared. Why not adopt a U.S....

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(17)

rmiller

Jan-31-13 6:50 PM

Citizen...

Have a good night..might want to guard against that knee jerk reflex.

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CitizenX

Jan-30-13 11:28 PM

"So, the next time you judge someone, please at least ask why someone would ask a particular question, as opposed to assuming the intent? "

Motive makes not one whit of difference---it is still a highly personal and totally inappropriate question. It would be rude and inappropriate to ask of even a close friend or relative, let alone a total stranger in a public forum.

Unless it is asked by a medical professional or the person you are asking has broached the subject first in a personal and intimate conversation, it is an extremely private matter.

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rmiller

Jan-30-13 10:33 PM

"rmiller---how totally rude and inappropriate to ask!!"

Citizen,

You totally misjudged my question and the motive. There are many women wanting children and can't have them. I was one of them, and then God allowed for me to have my one and only at 37 years of age. But, for years I yearned for a baby, wanted to hold and nurture and love one. So, your comment was offensive and totally inaccurate in assumption. I meant the question as one of compassion and addressed the issue from a perspective of wanting a "baby" as a mother would want one. So, the next time you judge someone, please at least ask why someone would ask a particular question, as opposed to assuming the intent?

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CitizenX

Jan-30-13 5:57 AM

rmiller---how totally rude and inappropriate to ask!!

jhett66, I dearly wish there was a way to contact you in person. I would very much like to help you in some way with your children. They certainly are lucky kids!

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rmiller

Jan-29-13 10:33 PM

comfortable with... have one question for this writer? Is your wife unable to conceive that it is her strong desire to nurture an infant that determined the age preference?

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rmiller

Jan-29-13 10:28 PM

For people who want to adopt, the process is daunting, and it can be expensive. It is grueling, to say the least and there is a time period that the birth parent(s) can change their minds. Whether the child comes from across the seas as opposed to nationally, is perhaps an individual choice and should be respected as such. I want to believe the writer was expressing the frustration of the process here in the states. I also believe they did indeed want a Case in point: a child (baby to ? yrs) was adopted and one only wonders where that baby might be now. There are posts on here referencing personal experiences with adoption that are touching and heart rendering and I commend a person who will do so, regardless of the age or "situation" the child came to them. That takes a special person. There is nothing wrong with wanting to adopt a baby. Even as adults, if we were to be honest with ourselves, there are different age groups of children that we are most comfortable w

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jhett66

Jan-29-13 8:34 PM

My primary objection to this letter was the comments, "In America you don't adopt babies; you adopt children from foster care or orphanages. Most children available are between six and sixteen years old. That's not a baby, that's a person." The message I took from this was that the thousands of children waiting for adoptive homes are not good enough. I am proud of the three "persons" I adopted

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FormerEastEnder

Jan-29-13 3:18 PM

i'll state it.. the letter writer obviously wanted a new born baby.. "fresh from the womb" and the the red-tape nightmare that is associated with US Adoptions (that he claims to have investigated)... and he chose to go overseas.. that is his right..his option..and how can we claim to know the full truth from 3-4 paragraphs? i say, if that is what their family wanted, and was able to achieve, so be it.. who are we to question his "validity" or his disposition to the US Adoption process?

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Dannygirl

Jan-28-13 11:57 AM

I adopted 2 wonderful little boys from our local county C&Y a few years back. One of which was a baby when they came to live in our home, the other was just 5 yrs old. They are brothers and they needed a home together. There are so many children who need a good home. If you are open to making your home the type of home a child needs you would be suprised at what oppertunities for wonderful children are out there. Just because a child is adopted out of fostercare does not make them damaged or too old to love. There are so many kids who need a home and love. Kids right here in your own backyard that would give anything for a stable home. When you say that there are not kids under the age of 6 availible for adoption that could not be further from the truth. When looking at adoption it should not be just about your needs but the needs of the child. The child is who should come first always.

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LaughIn

Jan-27-13 10:43 PM

A justifier obviously disagreed with the truth, who COULD disagree with jhett66? Personalize your statement with a response or GET OFF of here, (thank you Bethany McClain for yore quote) .

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LaughIn

Jan-27-13 11:48 AM

Tax deductible childrens charities could have used that money for the right reasons.

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USABorn

Jan-27-13 11:15 AM

So if this jerk "contracted" with someone for their baby, what would happen if it wasn't born in PERFECT condition? Would he and his wife refuse delivery of the baby? eems to me he wants to SHOP for his kids so he can make sure they ARE perfect.

If it were up to me, this guy would NEVER be allowed to adopt. Not even a dog!!!!

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LaughIn

Jan-27-13 9:16 AM

Jhett66, I wish I could hit agree more than once under your comment, but I cannot. Your real life story is why 3 children have a loving and caring parent they can call Dad. When you do something for the right reasons, it is all worth receiving. Thank you for wanting those boys.

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jhett66

Jan-27-13 8:57 AM

As a single father who has adopted three children through the PA Statewide adoption network, I cannot even begin to state how offensive this letter was to me. All three of my sons were six years old when I adopted them and all three have significant disabilities and special needs. I adopted them because I wanted to be a dad and I wanted to give of myself to three very special children that needed a loving home and family. There are thousands of children in the US who wait their whole lives for a forever adoptive home and are overlooked because people want babies. What kind of message does that give them? All children deserve that opportunity and although it is the right of everyone to express their opinion, I strongly question the validity of this writer's view.

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LaughIn

Jan-27-13 8:45 AM

There are a lot of special kids in foster care, who need homes. Granted, they aren't babies, but do need good mother and father figures (role models, parents). Wanting only a baby and not a 3 or 8 year old or even a special child, tells this reader you don't really want a child for the right reasons! Thanks for sharing

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andy33

Jan-27-13 8:15 AM

This letter is one justification after another....since when is a baby not a person!...'sharing a home'..[aka adoption] with another 'person' is what it's all about...ISN'T IT!

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JustSomeGuy

Jan-27-13 6:25 AM

John, I call BS. First you say "in America you don't adopt babies" Yet I know personally someone who did in fact adopt a baby. Then later you say "To adopt a baby you have to contract a birth mother who is willing to give her baby for adoption." So which is it?

Next you say "To get a newborn you need to find a birth mother. We read the contract for one agency, and it is scary. You have to pay all her expenses, medical and living, and she can walk away with it at any moment. You have to pay lawyers, go through background checks, bureaucracy, courts, and at any moment the baby can be taken back, until the court awards you the prize." And I'm sure you can do all that for $50k.

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