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Overwhelmed

February 9, 2013

I am overwhelmed by the prison crowding issue. So many are in prison for things like being "deadbeat" dads. We have complete control over their bank accounts and employment checks....

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(34)

bryan48

Feb-11-13 8:36 PM

What about the kids? Excellent question..... The first few years were tough getting through school, but both kids are in college. One at PSU and another at Penn, which she saved and is helping to pay for. That is far more than most are able to do these days, and that is understandable with the cost of tuition without state help. I agree being a single mother is likely harder financially here, however this area is not a cross section of America. There is a reason so many educated professionals leave this area after graduation. There is a serious lack of opportunity locally in fields outside of healthcare. I believe the problem lies more within those who find making excuses for their situations to be the real problem. If one chooses to drop out of high school today, they can still make it. It is a matter of realizing decisions have consequences that may make the road going forward more difficult. Few find the extra effort worth it because those people are the ones who get extra help.

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LaughIn

Feb-11-13 5:25 PM

No responds?

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CMReeder

Feb-11-13 1:36 PM

What about them?

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CMReeder

Feb-11-13 8:50 AM

Well Spike my parents never divorced and they never reconciled either. Married or unmaried you have obligations. While it is true that the income of future partners can no be figured in it also points that you can more than easily meet your financial obligations. They think that if they are not there they have no obligations, they are wrong.

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LaughIn

Feb-11-13 8:13 AM

What is the potential consequence of a short term affair? Pregnancy! So why does marriage even have to be a factor? Does it cement something, money? I think Bryan sister made out just fine, don't you think so Spike

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spike2

Feb-11-13 7:49 AM

Laugh In - a few. Doesn't everyone?

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LaughIn

Feb-10-13 2:30 PM

Spike, you don't know anyone who got married, got pregnant shortly there after, had an epiphany and got DIVORCED within months after saying I DO? That would be listed under 'short term affairs'.

Thanks CReeder for sharing your nightmare, I didn't want that to go unrecognized!!! I think this sort of crap happens to A LOT of people.

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spike2

Feb-10-13 2:00 PM

CMReeder - I think you are referencing married people who divorced. I am primarily addressing women who have children from short term affairs and do not protect themselves from potential consequence. I agrre with you that any parent who has medical coverage should put the child on an insurance plan. DRO considers provision of insurance when setting a support payment. As to your Dad living high because of his girlfriend - neither new partner or new spouse has any obligation to support children from the partner's prior relationship, nor should they. Was your father a good provider before the split? My only other issue is that in divorce, of course children still exist, the wife however is owed nothing other than the few years alimony she may obtain and marital property. Again, you are discussing divorce where I am referencing short-term relationships with no intent of marriage.

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CMReeder

Feb-10-13 9:33 AM

My dad had to pay arrears for my brother until my sister was 18. Want to know the kicker when my sister graduated from high school my Dad announced that he had no longer any financial obligations to his children or his wife he was free.

I have a good friend who did not know how she was going to get the money to pay for her sons much needed braces for his teeth. I knew she was divorced but that her ex was working where I was and that we had a fairly good dental plan especially when it came to kids and braces. He pleaded poverty. I told her about the company plan she contacted the courts and he was forced to place his son on his policy. He did not even think to place his son from his first marriage in his policy because he did not want anyone to know he was married before. His first marriage and firat son did not exist in his world.

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CMReeder

Feb-10-13 9:25 AM

Okay spike I an speaking from my childhood and what my Mom endured because of my Dad. He split leaving my Mom to raise three kids under 14. She worked the night shift at a restuarant. Dad paid child support until his drinking and women got in the way then he would miss a month her and there and Mom would she understood. Then months would go by not a check, no calls, no visits, no word. Mom would contact Domestic relations and appear in court. My Dad was hard to find even though he was living in the area and also working here. He was moving and changing jobs quite frequently. My Mom endured this for 7 years. By this time I was past 18 but my younger siblings wer not. Judge greevy put it to my Dad this way go to jail or support your childern. Because my Dad was so far behind and working 'under the table' he was living very high because of the new girlfriend. In those seven years Dad had taken a lot of vacations with this girlfriend. continue..

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spike2

Feb-10-13 7:19 AM

ladydawg - yes, occasionally accidents happen. We are not debating the morality of sleeping around. The simple biological fact remains that the woman is who becomes pregnant and generally maintains custody of the child. "And also, when these sperm donors go to jail, anything in their banks accounts/savings, can be given right to the mothers and honestly, going to jail, scares half the men into paying for their children because they don't want to go back." I'm thinking you are one of the "mothers" who did a little sperm collecting. You also reference "working under the table". I completely reject the idea that we have so many high paying "under the table" jobs that men are seeking these for the sole purpose of denying child support. Want to talk about the women who don't report changes in pay, tips in restaurants and bars? Let's talk about the ones who also endlessly use the non-profits and food banks,does that count as income? Bryan - Your siste

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bryan48

Feb-09-13 7:46 PM

Lol...this cracked me up. My sister who is single must be a whore by local standards because she has 2 kids and isn't married. Too bad she is a lawyer and perfectly capable of paying her bills...and yours.

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FormerEastEnder

Feb-09-13 5:59 PM

Spike.. I agree with your posting.. thank you for sharing

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slickthedryfly

Feb-09-13 3:09 PM

I agree with the writer. People need to make a living. Miss a dollar and the law comes and gets you. Men should automaticaly have 50/50 custody, be-it 6 month or weekly, and keep custody out of the courts, and forget about support. Equal Responsibility!!! Only jail real lawbreakers.

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ladydawg4

Feb-09-13 1:36 PM

Far too many women do one-nighters or short term relationships have no money to support a child and should not have a reasonable expectation of an 18 year income. -Spike

So what you're saying is men who sleep around with multiple women, have numerous one-nighters, shouldn't be held responsible either? If a women should be held to a higher standard and be responsible for consequences, shouldn't the man too. I'm just confused on this double standard some people seem to have that it all the womens fault because they "should have known better".

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ladydawg4

Feb-09-13 1:31 PM

It is up to both men and women to take responsiblity, MrShaman. But when a father decides to step out of his role as parent, this leaves no one else but the mother to take care of the child. Responsiblity lies on BOTH parents. Yes, women should make smarter choices on who they date but sometimes, accidents do happen, even when you take the best precautions. I have no sympathy for men or women who won't take responsiblity.

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LaughIn

Feb-09-13 12:58 PM

TOTALLY AGREE WITH SPIKE

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MrShaman

Feb-09-13 11:52 AM

"Again, this is 2013. Options are readily available to prevent 99% of pregnancies." - spike2

*

...And, closer to 100%...if you live in Canada.

See:

Morning-After Pill Approved For Over-The-Counter Sales

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spike2

Feb-09-13 11:38 AM

(who) were married should be held to a higher standard. Far too many women do one-nighters or short term relationships have no money to support a child and should not have a reasonable expectation of an 18 year income.

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spike2

Feb-09-13 11:37 AM

FormerEastEnder - failing to pay child support is a civil commitment not criminal. When a "father" is committed the woman still receives nothing.I would like to see a study on actual employment of the men who are committed, educational levels, job experience, etc.. Maybe we should consider some mandatory training for employment, find local businesses who need laborers, etc.. As a female, I completely disagree that the onus is not on the woman. Again, this is 2013. Options are readily available to prevent 99% of pregnancies. I wonder how many of the "fathers" were employed or had any level of employment at the time of conception. Women need to smarten up. If a man has a 10th grade education and no job can you reasonably expect a reasonable degree of support? If a woman just wants a child and doesn't care, she should be prepared to accept the responsibility of caring for the child. Let's be honest, most of these "fathers" are not ex-husbands. The men who w

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LaughIn

Feb-09-13 11:26 AM

"Deadbeats" all the way around Billtown, and CReeders post has a valid point.

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MrShaman

Feb-09-13 11:24 AM

"People are in prison for one reason and one reason only... they were found guilty of their crimes. Period." - FormerEastEnder

*

Yeah...let's do the best (we can) to ignore the fact there's also a matter of whether-or-not those folks can afford quality legal-representation.

See:

Death Penalty Representation | Death Penalty Information Center

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Billtown101

Feb-09-13 11:17 AM

Dead-beat dads, dead-beat dads... what a worn-out term. If Lycoming County alone, locked-up dead-beat moms (welfare collecting sperm banks), they'd need to build TWO prisons!

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LaughIn

Feb-09-13 11:08 AM

CReeder, your 8:42 am post is on target

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CMReeder

Feb-09-13 10:44 AM

Not all of the responsibilty falls to women either spike. Yet legislators make it more difficult for women to take responsibilty.

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