This is why I want to be a conservative.
People who call themselves conservatives:
Cut taxes for the top one percent rather than for the middle class.
Cut funding for the National Institutes of Health rather than raise taxes on the rich.
Cut taxes on the rich rather than buy body armor for the troops in Iraq.
Fight every increase in the minimum wage while giving huge bonuses to CEOs.
Would rather rely on their superstitions to cure illnesses than fund stem cell research.
Honored Dr. Martin Luther King by calling him a communist on the floor of the United States Senate rather than supporting a national holiday.
Opposed wheelchair ramps for sidewalks and buildings because they were too expensive.
Opposed Franklin Roosevelt's attempts to create a safety net for the poor and elderly because it was too expensive.
Have spent nearly 70 years trying to destroy social security.
Opposed President Clinton's bill to allow new mothers three months maternity leave because it would be too expensive for business.
Outlawed bankruptcy for Americans who lose everything due to catastrophic illness so that credit card companies could expand their profits.
Pushed through the Congress a taxpayer-finances multibillion-dollar "incentives package" for oil companies to keep up the good work right after gas prices went from $1.50 per gallon to $3 per gallon.
Now that I am a conservative, I'll be rich, too.
Submitted by Virtual Newsroom