Dear Annie: For the past several years, I've resigned myself to the fact that my wife and I aren't going to have sex, so pornography and self-gratification are the alternative. I understand that she can be tired, ill or angry or just not feel like it. But that's all the time. She said I take it too personally when she turns me down. Yet when she insists she likes sex and wants me to initiate, I get slapped and turned away as soon as I approach her. How can I not take that personally? I finally realized I am better off accepting that we aren't going to have sex, and I no longer get frustrated.