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A baseball parable

An aging, overweight ballplayer came to bat late in a championship game. When asked by the press before the game if he expected to win, he replied, “Absolutely. If it is reported that we didn’t win, it will be because it was stolen from us.”

The reporter asked if he would congratulate the other team if they won. He replied, “Well, we’ll have to see.”

He struck out at the plate. The other team won the game.

He screamed at the umpire. “There’s no way we could have lost. Our victory was stolen! Massive fraud!”

The umpire said “No fraud.”

The ballplayer demanded an instant replay review. The replay official said there was no fraud.

He appealed to the league president, who said there was no fraud.

He appealed to the commissioner, who said there was no fraud.

The fat guy asked his fans to storm the field to prevent the trophy presentation to the other team. He even suggested that his backers should hang the vice-captain of his own team.

Though disrupted and delayed, the presentation was eventually completed. The other team was officially declared the champion.

Then the fat guy did a massive fund-raising appeal to his team’s fans, asking them to contribute to an “Official Ballgame Defense Fund,” which did not actually exist. The gullible saps contributed a quarter billion dollars, most of which found its way into the pockets of the ballplayer and his friends.

Sometimes truth is stranger than fiction.

PAM HAYES-HOULDIN

Huntingdon

Submitted by Virtual Newsroom

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