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"Tom & Jerry" does so much right that it mostly comes across as a missed opportunity.
Badly missed.
A mix of live action and animation, the brand-new film has a decent cast, a catchy score, gorgeous animation and a ready-made hook in the titular pair whose cartoon mayhem has delighted fans since 1940.
But the script is appalling.
Trite, unfunny and all over the place in tone, "Tom & Jerry" feels like it was written on a handful of napkins during lunch-break at the studio canteen.
Chloe Grace Moretz plays Kayla Forester, a Manhattan millennial who lies her way into a high-powered job at the swanky Royal Gate Hotel, picked largely to help oversee a wedding for two big-name celebs.
When the world's second-most-famous animated mouse (that would be Jerry) moves into the edifice, Kayla hires his arch-nemesis to battle the problem -- with the usual catastrophic results.
The fact that this summary starts with a person points to part of the failure here. Granted, the outlandish shenanigans of Tom & Jerry's short cartoons would become exhausting in a feature-length film; so some cohesive storyline was needed -- and frankly, the blending of cartoon chaos with live action seemed inspired. But Kayla's saga overwhelms the slapstick we all signed up for on this film -- and then pretty much kills it altogether with syrupy melodrama, slapdash plotting and dreadful, insipid dialog.
There's scarcely one moment that merits even a mild chuckle, while some scenes feel like the actors were making it up on the spot.
No, I take that back; anything ad-libbed would have been better than such gems as: "I'm from a small town in Penn State"; or "We are an elephant-friendly establishment"; or animals using "LOL" and "FYI."
And then there's the cameo from classic cartoon dog Droopy -- locked up in jail and dressed as Hannibal Lecter! Good grief.
Moretz manages as well as she can, and so does Michael Pena in the role of the hotel's events manager.
Better yet, the two main cartoon characters look fabulous, feeling genuinely hand-drawn despite the film's computer-animation; indeed, every single animal in the tale (even spiders) appears as a cartoon -- all designed with tender loving care.
The ambient score by Christopher Lennertz pops with excitement, and the blending of artwork with real settings is visually seamless.
But none of that can save this film.
I honestly wanted to like "Tom & Jerry." I hoped it would offer the kind of comic escapism we all need right about now. In fact, I'm pleased to say that over these many months of COVID isolation, I've managed to find and write up dozens of films I could warmly recommend for stuck-at-home viewers.
This isn't one of them.