My family, as I was growing up, gave compliments sparingly. When they were expressed, it was just a tiny teaspoonful. So, it is no wonder that I grew up with a “gratitude deficiency.” Telling others that I appreciate them or complimenting them has been a learning process and a slow one at that. When was the last time you sent a thank you note to someone or even received one? It seems that we are getting out of the habit of being grateful. How often do you have feelings of gratitude: once a week, twice a week, every day, or every now and then? Most people say they have feelings of gratitude. According to the Pew Research Center, “78% of Americans” said they felt gratitude at least once a week.

The power of gratitude is in the ability to see good. Psalm 107:42 says, “The righteous see God’s actions, and they take delight in what He does, but the unrighteous don’t dare to speak” (Voice). One reason we do not see things correctly is that we see things as we want them to be, not as they really are. We can be blinded by greed, envy, and jealousy, which skew our vision. We also are self-focused when we are in physical pain, and gratitude is hard to come by. The ability to see good is the ability to find good. It is the power of gratitude that inclines us to find good things where there seem to be none. Being grateful seems to be a choice we make. Recently I found myself in a construction zone on the highway, where I was stopped and waiting for the flagger to wave me on. My first reaction was to chafe under the delay, but instead I took the moment to be grateful for the workers who work in hot and dusty environments to keep our roads in good condition. I was thankful for the infrastructure that makes my life easier. Gratitude is an action. Gratitude is a choice, and when you choose gratitude, you can view anything through the lens of thankfulness. Gratitude unleashes the freedom to live content in the moment, rather than being anxious about the future or regretting the past.

Gratitude, like love, is a feeling, but it is also a commitment, a vow, a decision. Like love, gratitude needs to be expressed. Words have power. Our observations and our feelings need to be put into words. My wife, Cathy, was a preschool teacher for many years, and one of the skills the little ones needed to learn was how to express themselves. If a child was hitting another or having a tantrum, she would ask them to use their words. A few times, she has had to say that to me too. Words give expression to our lives and have tremendous power for good. So, to overcome my gratitude deficiency, I am learning to look for things to be thankful for. For example, I thank the teenage McDonald’s worker for showing up to work that day. I try to turn my complaints into opportunities to look at life circumstances differently. When I do, I feel less stress and more joy.

David Mansfield, Retired Disciples of Christ pastor