Trending
Growing up in the 1950s in a rural area of Newtown, Connecticut, Donald Gaffney entered first grade at the Sandy Hook Elementary School. After finishing school, he attended college and then moved away, leaving the idyllic New England town behind.
Until, on a day in December of 2012, just 11 days before Christmas, a man with a semiautomatic rifle entered Gaffney's former elementary school and shot and killed 20 first-graders and six staff members.
"I was born and raised in Newtown, Connecticut. I grew up on a small farm," Gaffney told a gathering of people at New Covenant United Church of Christ, who were there as part of the United Churches of Lycoming County faithful listening series, to discuss his book, "Talking About Gun Violence."
Gaffney, who is a pastor with the Disciples of Christ denomination, was the primary author of a church resolution to address gun violence prevention and now conducts workshops on the subject.
He shared how on the farm they had a variety of animals and grew a wide range of food. And they also, like any farm at that time, had firearms.
"I grew up with firearms. I can't remember the first time I shot a rifle any more than I can remember the first time I drove a tractor or lifted a hoe," Gaffney said.
"This is back in the '50s and as such, we grew up watching westerns and war movies and crime dramas," he said.
He said that at his childhood home, guns were kept in the hall closet with some of the ammo in the kitchen, handy in case there was a woodchuck that needed to be taken care of.
"That's the way it was. It was a much looser time back then," he said.
The woman who became his wife had grown up in an urban area where there were, at times, shots heard at night. When their two sons came along, they allowed them to have toy guns, as long as they didn't mimic real ones.
When the massacre happened at Sandy Hook, Gaffney said it sent him into a "very intense grief."
"Once I heard the news at work, I couldn't stay there. After I briefly looked at CNN and saw what was happening, I had to go home," he said.
"We spent a good part of that weekend calling and checking in on friends and family just to hear what was happening. So, I classify myself as a trauma survivor from that and sometimes I still have a very hard time talking about it," he said.
Through this tragedy, he realized he was part of a Newtown diaspora who were really grieving. He became part of Facebook groups who were people who had been born in Newtown and they started having special virtual services together.
He said the town felt an intense solidarity from the entire United States as they responded, and there was always a sense that if it could happen there, it could happen anywhere.
Now, Gaffney travels the country speaking from a Christian perspective to groups on gun violence. He is also a member of Sandy Hook Promise, an organization which seeks to prevent gun violence in schools, and Giffords Gun Owners for Safety, which advocates for commonsense gun laws while also supporting the Second Amendment.
While he admitted that he's not against gun ownership and in fact has a license-to-carry permit, Gaffney said, "Whenever there's violence, guns exacerbate the violence, and we need to do something about that. We need to de-escalate violence whenever we can. And so to that, I promote responsible gun ownership."
According to Giffords' website, about 46,000 Americans die from gun violence every year, or an average of about 135 people per day.
Gaffney believes that there is room for dialogue between the two sides of the gun safety argument.
"We can have conversations on all gun violence prevention issues, where listening is as important as speaking, and where those with opposing views can share a good will. That sentence, or a slight variation of that sentence, was one of the founding promises made by Sandy Hook Promise. That's one of the things that they wanted to start to do, and that is the promise that resonates most with me, and what I most wish for: telling and listening, listening and telling, building understanding and empathy across the barriers that divide us," Gaffney said.
"Numbers report violent deaths of people, and when you just concentrate on numbers, you forget the humanity. Those individual and unique stories that we each have. Blood is wiped off and they're sanitized. They haven't humanized. Stories speak to life, but the data speak to death," he said.
Gaffney shared a quote that stated, "Statistics are a weapon of mass destruction."
"They distract us. They take us away from our storytelling, the sharing of our own narratives, and again, those of us who are Christians know the value of storytelling and story sharing. It is all about each of us having our own story and sharing our own story," he said.
"We have the embodiment of Christ, created in the image and likeness of God. Each of us is loved by God. Each of us is unique with our own unique story, and that story is more or less important than another story. It's an important thing to remember. We know Jesus by listening to and sharing His story. Similarly, we grow in our relationships with each other," he said.
"So for me, Christianity is all about relationships, relationships with God and neighbor. As we enter and develop relationships, it's all about hearing and listening. I want to grow in my knowledge and understanding of both God and neighbor. So long as I'm talking, though, you know, I'm not learning anything new. It's only when I stop and listen that I can start to learn," he added.